I asked Allah to protect me from my enemies...and I started losing friends.
Today I have not an ounce of doubt that He has a remarkable plan for meand that He saved me from those who wished me ill and wouldn't hesitate to throw me in the corner and try to crush my spark and intellect.
Never have I seen things more clearly than I have today, and yet, instead of bitterness I am filled with joy and pride that I not only I am a thinker rather than a follower but I have found inner peace and embraced it rather than continue to be expressively agree. I confess I had an angry moment and I think that is truly healthy for it wouldn't be healthy to bottle up anger. I can truly say I am truly free and have learned to stop controlling any situation and learn focus on my mind, for once I learn to do that, everything falls into place. Elhumdellah.
However I confess while I see the light of clarity I see tiny shadows in the corner (hence my first statement 'I asked Allah to protect me from my enemies...and I started losing friends'). It's slightly sad how people think and it renders me slightly disappointed how they choose to follow, speak beahind one another and fear the concept of courage as they willingly choose to hurt or be silence against what is wrong for their own self interest.
Then again, maybe they weren't meant to be 'friends' but rather aquaintence. People that I would be sincerely civil with yet be 10 times more alert and sharp in body and mind when dealing with them.
I understand that it is in human nature for us to be selfish, everyone of us, but I know for a fact that Allah has made that (selfish) trait less in some people's souls and more in others.
I know I am in no way perfect nor will I ever be...heck, I know for a fact that the old kind office guy who makes the coffee and tea in my old job is far better than me (and any senior employee if you ask me)...but I know through all my faults that I have very little selfishness in me. Arrogent? One might think so, but I assure you, if you have experienced raw emotional pain in the past, the trait (selfish) would decrease remarkebly because you know what pain is like. To be back stabbed, bullied, deceived and spoken behind your back, so you wouldn't sincerely wish that pain on anyone. You become emotionally and mentally 'awake' so you would ensure that you wouldn't intentionally do what others have done to you.
So all in all, I want to thank Allah for putting me through all of this to 'awaken' my soul. It is truly an honour for me that He has placed me through this path to be a better human being and find what most people struggle to find in their lifetime...inner peace. : )