Monday, May 9, 2011

Struggling with words

It's been a rough week of exams and event management for me. I'm trying to be calm but there's a raging storm of stressful chaos in me. It's starting to affect me as I'm having mood swings and I'm becoming so lethargic and cranky.
And with summer here it's not even helping (40degrees in an abaya is pure torture!).
Actually there is another thing that's bringing me down but I just can't bring myself to express it. Loneliness? Despair? Emptiness? I don't know. I keep trying to convinve myself that I'm already overwhelmed with my Masters, being the V. Chairman of the Alumnae board and my day job. To many that would seem like someone who is doing well. Elhumdellah I'm not saying I'm not grateful for being this busy. It's just that there's something I want but can't bring myself to say it.
Alright I confess, It's more a matter of the heart. I'm trying to keep myself too busy so i would be so exhausted that I'd forget how much loneliness tends to gnaw inside me every now and then...Allah Kareem. I'm sure this is just a short negative phase and I'll overcome it inshAllah.

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