Ever went through a very brief phase where you want to disconnect from everything and everyone just to be on your own to put your mind at ease from the overwhelming speed of information, incedents and duties (be they personal, work or school?) that are consuming your brains?
I suppose mankind is rarely satisfied with what Allah has bestowed upon him. I honestly say elhumdellah almost everyday but there are times I sit alone and wonder...now what? What is my purpose? Will this balance the joy ofw hat I want and what the society expects of me hence inner peace? Is all that I'm doing is to find purpose for myself or impress others with my achievements? Will all that i'm doing will leave a positive mark for my family and society? Am I too ambitious for my own good in a society that still raises an eyebrow upon a single lady who is trying to build herself because she has nothing else to do (asides from loving and being with her parents)?
I suppose these questions plague me tonight because I found out that the closest to me were the backstabbers who spoke ill behind my back and I do not wish to expose it to them because I prefer to keep them in the dark (i suppose that's the strategic politician in me). Initially it did hurt. Then it rendered me angry and less trusting of people.
Now I am merely amused by the nature of mankind and strongly believe in God's plan of what goes around comes around.
phew! Right I feel a bit better now after clearing my thoughts here...perhaps I'll be able to find the answers to some of these questions sooner or later inshAllah.
Noora
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